Listen, I Don’t Care…

I hope I am not the only one who has noticed that a good number of people out there whom I either do not know at all or perhaps know only slightly (and may not even like) seem to think that other people are extremely interested in their personal lives… I am not talking about polite, casual conversation, rather those who, through obnoxiously loud conversations, either with other people (whom I also probably could not care less about if I tried) or on their prized cell phones (which they must somehow believe include features nobody else was allowed to have by the way they wave them around in front of your face), project their apparently revered words for all to hear.

These self-involved individuals always seem to position themselves in a manner that leaves you no choice but to hear their precious conversation, as if you will then realize how important they are, or perhaps how insignificant your own life is, though they seem oblivious to the fact that in most cases they will be considered a irritating, self-centered ass by the very people they must be trying to impress. Let’s face it, do these people really think we are interested in every detail of their daily schedule, finishing up with a trip to the gym, apparently to try and trim down that bloated gut and/or huge ass, something they have not yet accomplished but must think we did not notice.

Even worse are those who force their cute, immeasurably intelligent or athletically superior children upon us, when a quick look at parent and offspring would seem to paint a considerably different picture… Still, one feels obligated to offer a smile and a few kind words before looking for a quiet place to regurgitate the contents of their stomach.

Then of course there are those who must assume that all jobs, besides the prime and incomparably important one they hold, must consist of removing boogers from the bottom of bus seats and that by being graced with the ability to hear them perform the duties of this role we may strive to improve ourselves and one day be like them, obviously a key element in modern life, without which we would all be unable to survive.

Maybe your favorite is those who feel the need to relay the experiences that their unequaled financial success has rendered, even though they seem to be in a very similar situation to our own since they are also standing in line at WalMart…

Anyway, I guess I am done now but would like to end by saying that if you are one of these people I would simply ask that you consider this before heading out into public places intending to enlighten those around you with your unsolicited drivel – We almost certainly don’t care, so save your breath and remember that I am likely going to give you more credit than you have due until you open your mouth and demonstrate to me that I had initially set the bar far too high.